


white lies.

by sagelabyrinth



Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Crack, Humor, Lies, friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:06:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagelabyrinth/pseuds/sagelabyrinth
Summary: Holden told Bill a white lie. A small white lie that lead to a continuous loop of white lies. But Bill found out.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	white lies.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little "crack-fic" for fun. Had an idea, made it what it is.

He sat in the office-- erm, _basement_ \-- with Bill and Wendy. Holden was reviewing cases, Bill was pretending to file something or other, and Wendy... Well, Holden wasn't sure what she was doing, but it had to have been important. The energy was light, almost the end of the day, almost the weekend. Holden had incredibly well-thought-out plans with Debbie. Plans that he couldn't say in Church, or in front of his mother.

Oh how the sheer idea of those aforementioned plans sent excited shocks pulsating throughout Holden's body. He could picture it now, Debbie, wearing that _thing_ Holden loved to see her in, laying on the bed, her hair laid _j_ _ust so perfectly_ to the side. Holden would slowly go to her-- kissing her oh-so-gently, admiring every inch of her perfection. The anticipating was killing him, the clock moved slower than usual today, he was sure of it. Maybe the batteries were nearing their end, or maybe the Earth slowed its rotation. But regardless, Holden's mind-- and impeccable imagination-- were soaring. He pictured her again, so petite, so _God dammed perfect._ God! He wishes he could just

Holden was abruptly shook out of his thoughts. Bill was throwing random blank sheets of paper in the waste bucket a few feet away, missing nearly all the shots.

"You know, we don't have the budget for that." Holden remarked in his usual monotone inflection.

Bill continued, "Take it out of my salary."

His game of NLP (Major League Paper, Holden chuckled at his thought), painstakingly dragged on, missing basket after basket, "Bill, cmon, really?" Holden judged.

Bill repeated the man in a mocking tone, "Cmon, really? Would you relax? We have twenty more minutes until the long weekend starts, can't I just _unwind?_ "

Holden scowled and went back to his work. Bill shot a couple more paper-balls before taking fire onto Holden. A crumpled piece of paper flung itself out of Bill's hand and directly into Holden's face.

"Bill!-"

"When's your birthday?" Bill inquired, purposefully ignoring the younger agent's anger.

"Why."

"I want to know, _Agent Ford_."

Holden took a deep breath in, "03-26-'51" he said it so thoughtlessly, so casually, that he hadn't even realized his mistake. But by the time he did, it was too late.

"Wait, '51? You said you were 29 when we met... You're only 27!?"

Holden quietly made a shush motion, but Bill had already called Wendy in, "Bill, Bill!" but his cries were ignored, Bill was ecstatic at the news, Holden was mortified at his own stupidity.

"Wendy, Boy Wonder here is 27. Kid's been lying for months!"

"Bill, _please_ just let me-"

Bill put his hands up to silence the other man, "A, tah, tah, the adults are talking." he joked.

"Why would you lie to us, Holden?" Wendy inquired in that voice of hers. The voice she uses when she interviews, the voice that can make anyone's psyche absolutely crumple under its power.

Holden's jaw clenched, his bottom lip trembled slightly, his palms were getting clammy, "I-" he tried, Dear God he tried, to get the words out, but nothing would go.

"We're waiting..." Bill announced in his "Dad Voice". He knew what he was doing, he wanted Holden to break, but break he would not. Holden Kelly Ford did not "break", he was too smart, too composed. He knew better, _WAY BETTER,_ than to ju-

"I'm sorry!" he rushed out, "I- I- I- I j-just wanted you take me seriously, I knew you wouldn't otherwise! I-" Holden spoke so fast, Bill swore he invented a new language.

"Hey, hey," Bill motioned for him to slow down, "calm down, seriously." he chuckled, "It's not a big deal, but w o w, 27! You know, I always thought you looked too... Boyish. To be 29."

Wendy nodded, "I agree, you're much too small-statured."

Holden was almost down-right offended, "I'm not ' _small-statured',_ "

Bill let out a quick spurt of laughter. Holden tried to give him an intimidating look, but that only launched Bill into a fit of hearty, belly-laughter. Tears formed around his eyes, and even Wendy chuckled a bit-- and she n e v e r laughs.

Holden just stood there, fuming at his co-workers. He couldn't believe the lack of professionalism, "You know what? It's officially the long weekend, you two gave fun, I'm out."

  
"D'you need a ride, kiddo? I don't think they allow boosters in the front seat!" Bill said through howling laughs.

"No. No, thank you _Agent Tench_." He said defiantly. The anger seeping off of his tone.

"Aw," Wendy pouted, "poor baby."

Bill was in stitches. He slapped the desk several times and barely sucked in enough oxygen to keep himself upright.

And with that, Holden turned and left, all while flipping the two off. As he was leaving, he heard Bill-- Bill and his incredible _wit_ \-- howl out one more sentence,

"Careful, young man or I'll have to ground ya!"

"Wait, 

**Author's Note:**

> There's a theory on Reddit that the inconsistency of Holden's age is due to him lying to Bill in Ep. 1.
> 
> Holden confuses NBA and NLB, hence the "NLP" joke.
> 
> You all know the voice I'm talking about.


End file.
